Captain Planet: The Lost Episodes
“This is a job for Captain Planet!” Kwame declared, holding his ring into the air.
“Actually, don’t you think that’s a bit excessive?” Joey asked. “I mean Christ, the guy forgot to recycle some aluminum cans. It happens.”
“Whooooo didn’t recmycle?” It was Captain Planet. He staggered towards them, obviously drunk. In the old days, Captain Planet only showed up when summoned by the combined forces of the Planeteers’ rings, but lately he just dropped in whenever the hell he felt like it.
“Uhh, actually we’re cool,” said Joey. “It was just a misunderstanding.”
“Hey screw that shit!” said Captain Planet. “I’ll freakin’ kill whoever’s too good to recycle.” His eyes were wild as he spoke.
“He’s already gone man, okay? Why don’t you go home and get some sleep. You’re drunk.” Joey tried to steer him away from the scene, but Captain Planet stared sullenly at the ground. Suddenly, his drunken gaze fixed itself on the fleece jacket that Kwame was wearing.
“Hey Kwame, gimme that fleece,” Captain Planet demanded.
“No. I’m not giving you my fleece,” said Kwame.
“Only bitches wear fleece,” muttered Captain Planet. “You’re a freakin’ bitch with that fleece. I should burn you with fire…”
When the boys didn’t respond, Captain Planet staggered over to a section of mailboxes where he threw up before eventually disappearing.
“He seems happier,” said Kwame.
Source: tomoatmeal
